I personally think SPAM is gross, but to each their own

I mean really… Spiced Ham? ::shudder::

Ah, spam. What would we do without it? How else would we know that there are herbal products out there for embiggening of our sexy bits that don’t meet the standard, be they chest-bound or crotch? I remember when I had an apparently easier to guess email address with Hotmail and I was constantly getting spam for my obviously under par man cannon.

It all came back to me in a rush today because of a spam comment that I got yesterday that was just too funny not to share. There are two things that could explain the reasoning behind such a strange and wonderful spam comment and they are as follows: 1. Whatever spambot posted the comment chose a mishmash of words that are often used in search engines. OR 2. (What I prefer to think, since it’s funnier.) It was written by someone who has a very, very, VERY tenuous grasp of the English language and that they were desperately trying to be helpful.

So without further ado, here it is:

Disease Parent,
wave international representative rain handle lose closely face site attend affair human revolution alright lot progress imagine cause fast below unless expensive your pretty him night pocket steal laugh belief coal return tooth rest receive watch inform remove tonight device cause require single condition instrument dry appear contact test content scene definition however persuade fly passage publish edge up section rely woman also report beside local assume artist prove size nose marriage shout save direct block natural ring due majority hear declare risk visit wonderful labour consideration star sex ready

I’m sorry, dear, helpful foreign freind. Your attempt to communicate using word by word translation have failed. I appreciate your concern, but WE. DON’T. UNDERSTAND. WHAT. YOU. ARE. SAYING.

On second thought, maybe it was composed by aliens. Are they warning us of some impending doom? Maybe the “parent” they speak of is our own dear and imperiled Mother Earth. “wave” is obviously their attempt at a greeting since they have watched us greet each other that way. After that, my puny human brain can’t decifer the message, but how exciting! First contact happening right here, on my blog. You should all feel privilaged!

Also, feel free to send me money for the years of research I’m gonna have to do to figure out what the aliens want. You can thank me later.


About Melme

Can I have some coffee now, please?

Posted on April 15, 2010, in AWESOME!, Geekiness, Me, Random, We are not alone.. Bookmark the permalink. 10 Comments.

  1. oh cmon. the spammer is telling you to remove your nuva ring pregnancy blocking device from your pretty him night pocket because it’s causing dryness and tonight is the night for starfucking.


    • Hmm… You may be onto something… But I think he might want to get married first, though and what with me already being hitched, that’s not gonna happen. Or does he want to marry my nose? And I find the “human revolution” line a little distrurbing.

      This is why I need research monies! ;)

  2. So! I discover the truth! Secret alien lovers…

    You know you can tell me about these things. I still love you. Just don’t forget the rule of twos. ;)

  3. LOL – I find myself laughing at those damn spams too. Damn aliens.

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